My best friend and her husband are expecting their first child this winter. I offered to throw them a baby shower. They were not so keen about the whole thing when I approached them. They are pretty non traditional and did not want to obligate people to buy them a lot of stuff. “So, you just send out baby shower invitations and people have to buy you things?” They asked. I understood their sentiment, as I too do not like the concept of the 5 bridal showers some brides throw that always seem to make guests fork out more than they are comfortable with. I also know that baby showers represent something altogether more fulfilling emotionally than the average greedy bridal shower. A lot of brides and grooms are waiting until later in life to get married. Most of them are well established in their careers and already have everything they need for their homes. Unlike when the bridal shower was first created, many couples do not need assistance with the basic things needed for a house. Guests receiving bridal shower invitations should be asked to help celebrate, not reach into their pocketbooks. Friends and family will always want to give gifts anyway, but you want them to feel unencumbered and inspired when doing so.
My friends who were against the idea of a baby shower were afraid of those same bridal shower expectations. I told them that sending out baby shower invitations would evoke joy and a desire to help celebrate in their friends and family. For couples who have never had children, the things that you need for a baby are not things you have on hand, no matter what your socio economic status. When you are expecting your first child, you have no idea what you need and where to start. By getting your friends and family together for a baby shower, you allow them to offer advice and give you items that will make your life so much easier. I had no idea what a Boppy pillow was before our baby shower, and it turned out to be the thing I relied on most (next to my husband) for the year after we had our first child. Shower invitations will also be received by people who have no idea what having a baby is like. Those guests have been looking for a good reason to go into that baby boutique and buy you the softest baby blanket known to man.
I came up with an idea that was well received by my friends. I sent out shower invitations for a “Wisdom and Wives Tales” party. Attendees were to bring a baby proofing item and a supply (diapers, wipes, baby thermometer). I also asked the people who were given shower invitations for the best piece of knowledge they received before they had a baby, and the most ridiculous thing masquerading as advice they had received. I printed up and gave credit for all the input in two separate books (one for the good advice; the other, for the ridiculous stuff) for the couple to have. They loved the books and the fact that their friends and family offered such great advice and funny stories. And they were very grateful for all the practical items and supplies that will make their life easier when the baby comes home. The shower invitations did not leave anyone with an obligation to purchase anything beyond the theme. I am almost certain everyone gave something in addition to the supplies and safety items specified in the invitation. But all the guests loved being asked to be helpful and contribute something. And that is what it is all about.